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Tuesday, December 30, 2008

Ink, ink and more ink!

It happened. I knew it would, I just didn't expect it so soon.

My 18 year old daughter got a tattoo. It's true you know, once you get one, you'll want another...this is her second! She's been bitten by the big bad ink machine!


This is her in the chair. (She's so not a bad a$$.) She's prissy and pretty and very particular. She gets sick when I help her put on her eye makeup for prom, for crying out loud! She passed out at school the day she wanted to participate in the blood drive! And she only made it as far as the part where they prick her finger!


She went down and took the partitions that seperated the different stations with her! She doesn't do well with needles.


Maybe, she just doesn't do well with needles that take things from her, but the ones that leave some pretty ink behind are ok? Oh well. Knowing her as a mother knows a daughter, I am completely OK with her wanting to get a tattoo, planning it out and then going through with the plan. I know she's been thinking about it since she got her first one back in February.


I think it came out pretty good, considering the artist drew it from a photo she brought him - a photo that was printed from the internet...

She is all into love and peace - so I am pleased with her selection of a dove, rather than the peace symbol.

It's a lot larger than I imagined it would be, for some reason I thought she'd wimp out and only get it the size of a 50 cent piece or maybe a quarter... heh heh

The first one she got is about the size of a quarter and it took all of 3 minutes because she only had an outline done. I thought she was going to come unglued. So, I guess you could say that I'm proud of her for not being a wussy, and making a statement with something larger.

Rock on with your bad self Caitlin!

And for the rest of you, Love, Peace and Chicken grease.

H

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Monday, December 29, 2008

Getting Ready for a New Year


I hope you had a wonderful Christmas...or whatever you may celebrate at your home. I hope it was filled with joy, family, friends...and all of the presents you asked for or secretly wanted but didn't have the nerve to ask for!

Now our attention turns to the new year. It's hard to believe that 2009 is upon us in a matter of a few days.

Many of you will venture out on New Years Eve to party like rock stars. Did you notice I said many of you? I said you...instead of us...because there's NO WAY I'm going out!


My wife has been begging me to go out...but she better grab a bag of Orville Redenbacher and get ready to watch Ryan Seacrest and Dick Clark drop the ball on TV...'cause there's no way I'm going out on Amature Night.



Yes...Amature Night! New Years Eve is the one night out of the year that everyone thinks they can drink like they did when they were 21! Oh sure they may have a couple of beers or a shot every now and again...but most Friday nights they're home watching TV and bobbing for chest hair before Doug Ray finishes the 11 o'clock news on Channel 13.



So my advice is just stay home, order a pizza, and celebrate with the ones you love...and of course have a beer or two...but wear a brace because you can really damage your neck muscles when you nod off suddenly.

Happy New Year!

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Saturday, December 20, 2008

Frosty


Enjoy the snow...and Merry Christmas!

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Tuesday, December 16, 2008

Christmas Tree: Real or Fake?


We talked about this topic at length over a week ago on Frank's Place with Bill & Heidi...and I'm still getting e-mail with advice and opinions!

The truth is that I love a real tree. I always have. There's just something about the smell, and then finding the perfect side to face the room...I think the lights and ornaments even look better on a real tree.

However, at my house no one wants to help take care of the tree after it's decorated. Oh they love the tree from the lot to the car to inside the house to decorating it...but then it's as if the tree has the plague...until Christmas morning when all the presents are sitting around it...then everyone loves it.


So a few weeks ago I called a family meeting and suggested an artificial tree this year. Wow! I might as well have suggested that we cancel Christmas this year! I was met with outrage...my youngest son even suggested that I may be Scrooge! My wife just shook her head and looked as if I'd just run over the cat.


At first I was taken back by their behavior...then I recalled the day that my dad brought home the fake tree that would be the scourge of our holidays for years to come. I couldn't believe that he could do such a thing...

So after talking with Frank Nation I called another family meeting to re-address the issue. This time they were armed with the facts! My wife broke out safety statistics on real vs. artificial tree's, my two son's talked about the pro's and con's to the environment, and then they all slammed me with the fact that I hate fake tree's.

Needless to say we went and got a very nice real Christmas tree later that day.

Thanks for all of your input...now stop e-mailing to call me The Grinch!



I hope you're having a great holiday season.

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Can you believe it's almost 2009???


WOW, time sure has flown this year! I can't believe that 2008 is almost over and 2009 is already peeking around the corner! It seems like yesterday I was graduating from High School! Upon further inspection, it turns out that I am going to celebrate my 20 year reunion in 2009!


I would have to say that 2008 has been a remarkable year for me. I experienced a great deal of personal growth early in the year and I started my job here at Frank in March. Can you believe it, it's been almost a year! Wow! The spring of 2008 brought me more joy than I could even imagine, when Geoffrey and I agreed to make our relationship exclusive. I have never been happier or more complete.

2008 was also the year I quit smoking! I have been smoke free now for 7 months and 6 days! I never want to go through that again, but I do think of it often and remind myself how lucky I am in my life, how much I love my family, and that I want to be around for my kids and their kids. I smell better, I breathe easier and I don't have to clean my car as often! Who knew that'd be a plus to quitting?



The summer of 2008 had some great cookouts, parties with friends and of course lots of yard work and mowing! Since I didn't have a lawn of my own, Geoff was nice enough to let me come over and play with his riding mower and weed his gardens. I suppose since I was doing such a good job of it, he decided to ask me to move in with him in August. So, I packed up the things I wanted to keep, got rid of some old stuff, and a lot of bad energy that I'd been carting around for too many years and we took the plunge of combining our families. My two teens and dog with his two teens and dog. So far, so good! We all get along really well, the kids all seem to dig the arrangement and they're really courteous and thoughtful of one another. Our life has turned into something of a sitcom to quote Geoff. Lots of interesting things happening.



Summer wrapped up and ushered in fall with it's glorious colors and coolness. It also brought lots of raking...Three times we cleared leaves, and still have a ton that didn't get picked up. Geoff and I went back and forth on the pros and cons of a leaf blower. I could see the value of having one, but he didn't. Oh well, I have till next year to visit that again. Maybe between now and then I can come up with a compelling story or reason as to why it would make sense. If not, it's ok. I don't mind being out there with him raking.

Now it's time for Christmas and the year is drawing to a close. I just can't believe it's gone by so fast! I hope you have had plenty of time to reflect on your year and be thankful for the things you should be thankful for kept what's worth keeping and got rid of the things that didn't fit into your life any longer.



I wish you well for the New Year.
Bless you and your families, enjoy your holiday festivities and of course....

Rock on with your bad self!

H

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Tuesday, December 9, 2008

Merry Christmas or Happy Holidays?


We talked about this morning on Frank's Place with Bill & Heidi...and I was shocked to find out how many people agreed with me...it's OK to say Merry Christmas.

For years now it seems like we've been beat over the head with political correctness. Instead of the traditional "Merry Christmas" that we all said as kids (at least those of us that grew up pre-1990)...we were told to substitute it with "Season's Greetings" or "Happy Holidays" so as not to offend those that didn't celebrate Christmas.

If you're like me...you never wanted to offend anyone. You respect other people with different beliefs and you'd never try to impose your values on them. So if they celebrate something other than Christmas...so be it. But they shouldn't be offended by something as innocent as "Merry Christmas"...just like I wouldn't be offended if they wished me Happy Hanukkah, or Happy Kwanzaa...or Happy anything else for that matter.


For me there's just something about hearing, or wishing someone, Merry Christmas. Maybe it's nostalgia...I'm not sure...but remember when you were a kid? You prayed for that first big snow of the year. As an adult we almost always dread the snow...it means having to shovel the walk or plow the driveway! As a kid Christmas time was filled with excitement...parties at school, your favorite cookies that Grandma only made once a year, writing a list for Santa...you get the picture.

Now days we can't have a Christmas party at school...we have to have a Winter Festival, the cookies we used to smell baking as we danced around the oven have been replaced with a package bought at the grocery store, and letters to Santa have been replaced with an e-mail or God forbid...a text message with your list of toys!

So it was GREAT this morning when the overwhelming majority of Frank's Place listeners called to say...keep on saying MERRY CHRISTMAS!

On that note...I think I'll get out my grandma's Christmas cookie recipe and whip up a batch. Mmmmm....I can almost smell them now. While I do that...why don't you enjoy this little Christmas gem....




Oh yeah...MERRY CHRISTMAS to you!

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Thursday, December 4, 2008

Shopping, shopping, shopping!

It's that time of year again.

Time to decorate your home inside and out, plan the big holiday meal (wait, didn't we just have one??) and the most dreaded task of all...Christmas shopping! Don't get me wrong, I have just as much holiday spirit as the next person, I am just getting to HATE doing the shopping part of the season.

Retailers love it, but sometimes it's the consumer that gets the short end of the stick - despite some sales items and low pricing on Black Friday.

Face it, anyone with kids knows that the older they get, the more expensive they get. Those $30 sneakers turn into $85-$130 dollar sneakers. That little $15 toy truck isn't acceptable, now we have to have a $100+ raido controlled truck with wireless controller and the rechargeable battery pack. God forbid that kids these days actually push the truck themselves to play wtih it. That is so uncool.


My kids are teenagers and I am at a loss for gifts this year. They have jobs and buy whatever they want. There really isn't anything this side of $300 that they don't already have. And they have so much stuff as it is, I don't relish the thought of adding to it!

Together, Geoff and I have an 18 year old, a 17 year old (who turns 18 a few days after Christmas - hello birthday gift) and two 16 year olds! So far, we have decided that a blue ray disc player can be a gift for one of them, another is getting a new car stereo. The other two are still up in the air, and the only thing I can come up with for one of them is a new car tire. That's going to be really hard to wrap and put under the tree. It will feel like a jip, even though it's a needed item.

Anyone have any ideas? Please, let me know...I am ready to just call off Christmas all together and say, lets go on a vacation instead!


Rock on with your bad self,

H

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Wednesday, December 3, 2008

Holiday Tipping


It's the holiday season...and somewhere along the way someone came up with the bright idea of tipping those who provide us a service. I'm not talking about the person that takes your order at the diner...these are the folks that deliver the oil, or the mail, or maybe the guy that hauls away your trash every Tuesday.

Hey those are tough jobs...and my hat is off to anyone that goes out and works hard each day. But who came up with the list of occupations that get tipped and those that don't?

My thought is this...we're in the worst economic situation the nation has seen in a very long time. It's going to be hard for some people to buy presents for their kids this Christmas...let alone buying a little something for the guy that cuts my hair.

On the other hand, the charitable side of me says if I can help someone that may need it...then maybe I'm paying it forward and the good karma will come back to me later. it's a tough decision.

I liked one option a guy suggested this morning when we talked about this on the show...make homemade stuff for those special people that really go out of their way for you. Think about it...a loaf of homemade bread, or a jar of strawberry jam, a really good apple pie. I think that sounds good...or else I'm hungry!

Anyway, here's the Holiday tipping guide from the Emily Post Institute:

• Live-in nanny, one week's pay and a gift from your child.

• Regular babysitter, one evening's pay and a small gift from your child.

• Day care provider, a gift from you or $25-$70 for each staff member and a small gift from your child or children.

• Live-in help (nanny, cook, butler, housekeeper), one week to one month of pay as a cash tip, plus a gift from you.

• Private nurse, a thoughtful gift from you.

• Housekeeper/cleaner up to the amount of one week's pay and/or a small gift.

• Nursing home employees, a gift that could be shared by the staff (flowers or food items).

• Barber, cost of one haircut or a gift.

• Beauty salon staff, give individual cards or a small gift each for those who work on you.

• Personal trainer, up to the cost of one session or a gift.

• Massage therapist, up to the cost of one session or a gift.

• Pet groomer, up to the cost of one session or a gift.

• Dog walker, up to one week's pay or a gift.

• Personal caregiver, between one week's to one month's salary or a gift.

• Pool cleaner, the cost of one cleaning to be split among the crew.

• Garage attendants, $10-$30 or a small gift

• Newspaper delivery person, $10-30 or a small gift

• Mail carrier, small gift only

• Superintendent, $20-80 or a gift

• Doorman, $15-$80. $15 or more each for multiple doormen, or a gift.

• Elevator operator, $15-$40 each

• Handyman, $15 to $40

• Yard/Garden worker, $20-$50 each or a gift

• Teachers, a gift (not cash)


OK...so if that wasn't enough to empty your checking account...add these professions into the mix!

• Wait service at a sit down restaurant 15-20% pretax

• Wait service (buffet) 10%

• Host, no obligation, $10-$20 on occasion, if you are a regular patron

• Takeout, no obligation, 0-10% if the person went above normal service

• Bartender, $1 per drink or 15-20% of tab

• Tipping jars, no obligation but tip occasionally if you are a regular or if the person went above normal service

• Restroom attendant, 50 cents-$3, depending on service

• Valet, $2-$5

• Skycap, $2 first bag, $1 per additional bag

• Housekeeper, $2-$5 per day, left daily

• Concierge, $5 for tickets or reservations, $10 if hard to get; no need to tip for answering questions

• Taxi driver, 15% plus an extra $1-$2 if helped with bags

• Hairdresser, 15-20%, ask to be split among those who served you

• Manicurist, 15-20%

• Facial, waxing, massage, 15-20%


Now I don't know about you...but who has a live-in nanny, a pool cleaner, or a dog walker? If you can afford all that stuff then you should be tipping...and if you do then add morning radio host to the list of people that deserve a generous year end reward!

I just hope my wife doesn't see this list because if she does she'll argue that she fills almost all of these jobs at our house and then she'll demand a REALLY BIG present as her tip. If that's the case I may have to get a second job...and I'll be sure to take one where you're guaranteed a tip!

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Tuesday, December 2, 2008

Manicure anyone?

Ok, I understand the desire to have nice looking nails.

I've been guilty of going to get mine done on occasion. I can fully comprehend the reasoning behind a woman's guilty pleasure of an afternoon of pampering.

What I can't understand is this...

What would possibly compel someone to do something like this? How can you go about your activities of daily living? You can't play Frisbee or Mario with nails like this. Come to think of it, I can't think of much that you could do with nails like this. What is the point? Gross.



OK, look here. She might be able to fish with them or something. How the heck did she get into that outfit without putting a run in it?




And what the heck is going on here? That just doesn't look natural. Those are friggin talons! What if she gets something in her eye? She could blind herself. Does she wear goggles to bed I wonder?



How does she get dressed, do her hair and her makeup for crying out loud? Oh, right. She doesn't do her makeup. It's obvious by looking at her skill with the mascara...OK forget that for a second, how does she change her earrings?



The hair and ghostly complexion can be explained. She can't grasp a doorknob to get out into daylight. But, come on, how can you not help but wonder what happens should she have to go to the bathroom. You know those didn't just grow like that overnight. She's been dealing with this for a while.

Every single one of these freak shows has made the decision to actually dedicate a large part of their lives to their fingernails. IS there a fingernail god? There must be, if these people are paying such a ridiculous price for their obvious vanity. I would like to see this as an SNL skit somehow. Like in a unfortunate turn of events, they all trip and fall on their untied shoelaces and break a nail at the 'Annual long nail gathering' and none of them remember how to actually use just their fingers and hands.

Short and trim for me thank you very much. If I feel like looking at Edward Scissor hands, I will watch the movie and look at Johnny Depp.

Rock on with your bad self,

H


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Monday, December 1, 2008

The Thanksgiving nightmare continues...

OK, so now that we've all had a grand time laughing at my clumsiness and obvious stupidity - can I just say how much this stupid ankle injury is impacting my daily activities and my overall mental health???

Ever worn one of these rigs?



It isn't much fun if you ask me.

Well, I would be in an even bigger world of hurt without it. I don't dare stand without it on! I know, I am a sissy for depending my stupid little air cast, but I am frantically paranoid of re-injuring my ankle! If I wake in the night to go to the bathroom, I put it on.

Look, I know it's just a sprain, or at least that is what they told me in the ER - along with "if it isn't better in two weeks or so, call your Dr. and have him do another XRAY.. cause it could actually be a hairline fracture that we can't see yet..." Nice. I've never broken a bone, and I have NEVER had a sprained ankle.

I will be the first to tell you how much it hurts though!

I am not one for sitting around and doing nothing, and that is what this ankle has done to me... It has stripped me of my independence (at least for a few days)! Sitting in the living room watching TV isn't my idea of a good time. Once in awhile I enjoy a show or a movie, but not for days on end. I can't clean the house, I can't do the shopping, I can't do anything! I hate it! Getting up from a seated position can be a chore, as our couch tends to suck you in when you sit down. If I keep my foot elevated for too long, my toes fall asleep. Complain, whine, bla!

Those darn crutches lasted about a day and a half. Trying to use those is less fun than wearing the stupid air cast.


I already had to cancel my first snowboarding lesson for this weekend. I have another scheduled for Dec 20th, hopefully I will be much, much better by then! If not, maybe my air cast will fit inside my boot?



Rock on with your bad self,

H


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My Favorite Fake Radio Station is Now a Real TV Station


WKRP is back on the air in Cincinnati, Ohio but this time it's for real!

A low-power TV station has changed its call letters to WKRP...the same as the fictional radio station in the 1970s hit series WKRP in Cincinnati.

The station changed its call letters to promote its new digital TV signal. The general manager said the new call letters will give the station recognition because so many people remember the television sitcom.

This is my all-time favorite TV show. It was one of the driving forces behind why I got into this business...and I'm not so sure I'm happy that a TV station now has the call letters...after all, is Les Nessman anchoring the 6 o'clock news? Is Dr. Johnny Fever or Baily Quarters hosting the morning show? And more importantly is Jennifer the receptionist?

As you ponder all of that...enjoy one of my favorite episodes of the real WKRP in Cincinnati.

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