Manicure anyone?

Ok, I understand the desire to have nice looking nails.

I've been guilty of going to get mine done on occasion. I can fully comprehend the reasoning behind a woman's guilty pleasure of an afternoon of pampering.

What I can't understand is this...

What would possibly compel someone to do something like this? How can you go about your activities of daily living? You can't play Frisbee or Mario with nails like this. Come to think of it, I can't think of much that you could do with nails like this. What is the point? Gross.



OK, look here. She might be able to fish with them or something. How the heck did she get into that outfit without putting a run in it?

And what the heck is going on here? That just doesn't look natural. Those are friggin talons! What if she gets something in her eye? She could blind herself. Does she wear goggles to bed I wonder?



How does she get dressed, do her hair and her makeup for crying out loud? Oh, right. She doesn't do her makeup. It's obvious by looking at her skill with the mascara...OK forget that for a second, how does she change her earrings?



The hair and ghostly complexion can be explained. She can't grasp a doorknob to get out into daylight. But, come on, how can you not help but wonder what happens should she have to go to the bathroom. You know those didn't just grow like that overnight. She's been dealing with this for a while.

Every single one of these freak shows has made the decision to actually dedicate a large part of their lives to their fingernails. IS there a fingernail god? There must be, if these people are paying such a ridiculous price for their obvious vanity. I would like to see this as an SNL skit somehow. Like in a unfortunate turn of events, they all trip and fall on their untied shoelaces and break a nail at the 'Annual long nail gathering' and none of them remember how to actually use just their fingers and hands.

Short and trim for me thank you very much. If I feel like looking at Edward Scissor hands, I will watch the movie and look at Johnny Depp.

Rock on with your bad self,

H