Moving stinks! But I am glad it's over!

Long time no write BLOG! I have been so busy this past week!! I decided to move, and initially thought it may take me a month. Once I started packing, I realized that I didn't need to keep dragging all this junk around with me, and I started purging...That lasted a week, and by the time I was done, I had decided that I didn't need a month after all! I ended up moving/giving away/throwing away it all in a week! Some of it was done in car loads, and there were three trailer loads.

I decided to part with a good many things that I have schlepped around with me for years. Some of them went because I was just tired of looking at them. Others went because I no longer needed them and quite a few items went, simply because they reminded me of lives past - and I felt they were full of bad karma. I am making a move for the better and I don't want or need that negative energy in the new space.

Especially, since my kids and I moved in with my boyfriend and his son...
Shock! I know, I felt it too.
Some moments I still do, and I get that drunk butterfly feeling in my belly.
=0)
You know the one. It's all good and I am smiling as I post this. He is my best friend. There is no one that I would rather spend time with. He makes me laugh, he makes me think, and he challenges me. He is supportive and thoughtful, kind and loving. I think sometimes it embarrasses him that I can so openly tell someone this. I would walk up to a complete stranger and talk their ear off about how wonderful he is, the wonderful things he does, and the way he makes me feel.

I love him.

I know how hard it is to live with someone though, I've done it. So far, this seems pretty easy. We're all learning each other's habits and schedules, and trying to be respectful of boundaries and personal spaces. My dog is having a harder time adjusting than anyone else. He has had to go through some behavior modifications since moving in, and he hasn't entirely liked them all.

The house is a mess with boxes, and items which need to be sorted through and put away. So far today I've emptied three boxes and it doesn't look like the pile is growing any smaller! There is also laundry to do, floors to sweep and I am dead tired and would LOVE to take a nap...

I've been a busy bee this past week, and from where I am sitting right now, it doesn't look like this weekend is going to be any better...OMG, could someone please shoot me?

I came home the other day with 6 bags of bagels, two loaves of bread, two danish (one raspberry and one cheese - cheese was #1!) and some dinner rolls. Someone laughed at all that bread, but know what? In a house with two adults and three teenagers (two of which are boys) who have all have 2+ friends here on a continual basis - I am happy to report that it is almost gone and none has been wasted. The best part of this is that I got it all at the bread store on Forest Ave/Stevens Ave and saved a TON! Who doesn't love that when you need to put all your extra funds into the gas tank of the car...

Anyway, I suppose I will go make dinner now. I couldn't tell you how many mouths will be around the table tonight. Although, it honestly doesn't matter. It is easier for me to feed them all of them (body and mind) while they're here - I don't want someone else doing that job.

I may not like the job they do.

Rock on with your bad self, I am totally rockin on with my new family.

H

Should she be worried??

OK, so today, we got an ask Heidi from 'Candice'.

'Candice' has a stay at home husband, who also takes care of their children. Her husband, takes the kids to play dates and parks, and is continually surrounded by women. (And, to hear 'Candice' tell it, these women are none to happy with their husbands, but they adore hers!)

Now, Bill and I are limited as to what we can say on-air, because we have time constraints. We do not always get to say all we'd like and that is where my new friend BLOG comes in handy...
I shall now finish what I would have said this morning on the subject, if I would have had the time.

First of all, 'Candice', friggin relax.

There could be a number of things going on here. I hope you've thought them all through before consulting me, a lowly radio co-host. If not, and you're counting on me to pull you through this tight spot - then I shall do my absolute best to give an honest opinion. Or at the very least what I would do, if I were you. Fair Enough?

You work, and your husband stays home.

When this was first discussed (and it should have been discussed) was the topic of him being at the park with the kids (other kids, and those kids' mothers) a concern?

Have you considered that perhaps these other women are finding things attractive about your husband because he truly represents those qualities?

Meaning, did you fall in love with him for his sense of humor, and now realize that these other soccer moms find him funny? Haven't you always admired the way he gives his full attention to you when you're speaking to him? Why wouldn't someone else's wife appreciate that too? Hummm... Maybe you're feeling a tad jealous, because he is just being true to self. Does this make you realize at all how good you really do have it? Or do you insist upon being jealous?

Do you suspect he is feeling the same enjoyment from these women? Do you suppose they sit all day and commiserate on their relationships? Do you even suggest by asking for my advice here that he may be showing you in a negative light to these women, merely because he comes home and tells you how much they hate their husbands and how miserable they are? Come on girlfriend, get a friggin clue!

I shouldn't be the one to tell you this there 'Candice', but, uh... MEN AREN'T WOMEN! OK? They don't think like us, they don't talk like us, they don't share feelings like us, they will never, I repeat, NEVER be one of us. These soccer moms can sit all day long and tell your husband whatever they please. He will remember about 1/8 of what she said. Men don't have the capacity to hold details like women do when it comes to this stuff. If it doesn't directly involve them, meaning if they're not eating it, drinking it, or sleeping with it, (yes I actually said 'it') he doesn't really pay all that close attention. Now, if you want to 'talk shop', sports, music, beer or dirty jokes, or about flatulence, then he's all ears. I would have thought with your education, you'd have realized this by now. How old did you say your kids were??

Now, that being said, I will admit that there are sensitive men who have an uncanny ability to communicate with a woman in a way that makes sense to her. There are men who excel at communication in some way, shape or form. Perhaps, you have such a husband. These men seem like a Godsend to a woman who's had a difficult relationship. It sure sounds to me like your husband is a good communicator, because he is telling you about all the things he does. (lets not forget he has the children with him too)

Don't get me wrong, we did get an email from a woman in Biddeford this morning who said this same thing happened to her and after 6 months she was in divorce court. I am sorry to hear that. But, again, I have to say - and I honestly never thought I would hear myself say it......

Not all men are pigs. WHEW. That was tough. LOL

Anyway, my whole point here is that if you have a good relationship with the man you married, you should be trusting enough to know that he loves you. I am not saying that you can't ever have concerns, or that you shouldn't bring them up. Do! Talk about them! Don't jump to conclusions, don't assume, and don't point fingers. (FYI- if you do point a finger at a man, he may try to pull it, thinking you have to fart. Just a heads up.)

Communicate, communicate, communicate!

'Candice', if you don't disclose your fears, concerns or thoughts with the one you claim to love over all others, then who can you tell really?

Someone down at the park, who isn't going to be thinking of you when you really need them to? Someone from the soccer game who doesn't really remember your last name?

No way! The folks at the park get the talk about what's good on TV. Who is playing the RedSox this weekend or did you see that article in the paper about the new such and such they're building downtown? Sharing what your scared about, what you dream about and what you think about during the day, is the good stuff. The good stuff, is what you give to the one you love.

It sounds to me, like your husband is coming home and talking with you. He is giving you some of his good stuff. Are you sharing yours? My advice would start with asking you to talk with your husband. Talk about some good stuff. Talk about your fear that maybe these other women are seeing in him all the things you fell in love with, and how that makes you feel. Tell him that you appreciate what he does, because you know if the roles were reversed, that you'd love to hear him say that. Treat him as you would want to be treated.

Now.....

Should you find out, during this delightful communication session, that he is being unfaithful, well then, my dear - you have Carte' Blanche to unleash full womanly scorn upon his wretched soul. I am certain that you've got enough stored in your female mental bank, (filed under 'you-cheating-son-of-a-bitch')that you don't need my help in coming up with any revenge tactics. But, should you need some assistance in formulating a plan - please consider me. I have some tried and true methods, as well as a few ideas I've had through the years that I've not had opportunity to try. I would welcome the chance. I have a resume' and references if needed...

I don't condone violence, but I also don't condone cheating. If you're going to take that risk, then you better have your bags packed.

I'm just sayin.

Don't fret though 'Candice', cause you might just be better off with a baby sitter, a maid and one of these...

WHAT??! It's just a thought. God.

Rock on with your bad (non-cheatin on the one you love) self!

H

Piercing update!!!

OK, as you heard yesterday - we discussed with, my daughter Caitlin, the fact that she wants a body piercing. This is what I think of when I hear body piercing... I picked THE LEAST GRAPHIC photos from the stupid collection that I've received over the past day (thank you to all the listeners who are supportive of me and my decision!) to put up on this blog...

Some people may still consider these graphic, and if you're upset by them, then I offer my apology. But I chose to post the pics in my blog to further reinforce my point. And besides, maybe there are some of you who are going through this same struggle at home right now and can use these as ammo for your kids! What parent doesn't love that?

OK, so here we go...Who in their right mind wants to do something like this?
I mean really. Look at the surprise on this guys face. He can't believe he would do something so totally stupid either!

OK, how about this... Do you suppose her mother was cool with her putting this on her face? Look at her lips! They're beautiful!! They're perfect!! Now she has gone and ruined them... There is nothing "SEXY" about this at all. At least not to me.




Apparently, these two like to play hide and seek.

OK, I am down with that... You go hide and I will come seek you after oh, I dunno, 10- 15 years.... Peek-A-Boo, I see a FREAK. Yeah laugh it up funny guy, cause you don't look a bit stupid. Oh, and uh, she is smiling because she doesn't look like you.

This. Is. Just. Plain. Stupid.
Was he drunk? On pills? Cause I won't accept that someone willingly did this kind of action to themselves on purpose. Oh, wait, I know, this is an ER photo right? Hey wait, isn't this the guy who 'accidentally shot himself in the head with a nail gun'? Or was that guy trying to copy this guy,? Either way, it sucks.

All I can say to this one is WTF?

So, in conclusion, I ask you, how do these people make a living? Do you suppose any of them are school teachers? I showed the pics to my daughter and asked her that same question. Since yesterday and seeing these photos, she has changed her mind and now has decided that she'd like another tattoo. Which is totally cool with me. (Yes, even though it is permanent!)

I know that she will have to think long and hard about where to put it, what to get, how big it should be, etc. She has a small one already on her hip. She thought about that one for years. Who knows, maybe she will forget all about it in a few weeks. Maybe not.

If she doesn't, then that's still OK. Who knows, I may go along with her and get another one myself! Once you start, you can't stop. It's kinda like that commercial for Lay's potato chips from back in the day. There's no stopping at just one...

Until next time, rock on with your bad self...

H