Why Does This Stuff Always Happen to Me?

Have you ever had one of those days when you stop and ask yourself, "Why does this stuff always happen to me?"

Yeah me too.

Take today for instance! I was at the gym...on the treadmill, minding my own business...hot, sweaty, legs burning, praying to God that I'd survive another 10 minutes. I had the headphones on blasting some Disco's Greatest Hits CD that my wife got me for my birthday.

Usually, I just get into a zone and don't pay attention to anyone around me...but then she walked into the gym! Oh you know her...the really hot chick that looks like she just stepped off the cover of Fitness magazine...toned, tanned and buff...but not too much. And she worked the aisle between the treadmills and elliptical machines like a runway model on the catwalk!

And then it happened. She stopped a few feet away and smiled. In that split second I thought to myself, "Oh my God! Do I know her?" In the next split second I thought, "I must really be looking good!"

So I smiled back, took off my headphones, and heard her say, "Hey! How you doing?"

Again, the voice in my head spoke up, "Dude...you are the man!"

I continued to smile and said, "I'm doing great. How about you?"

What happened next couldn't have been any more embarrassing than if I had fallen off the back of the treadmill and face-planted on the floor!

The smile on my beautiful Fitness magazine hottie was quickly replaced with a look of total disgust. I heard her say "Oh my God. Some old dude just tried to talk to me. Oooooooo gross."

I looked around to see who could possibly be so stupid...and that's when it hit me....she was actually talking to someone on her Bluetooth...not me!

OH MY GOD! I WAS THE GROSS OLD DUDE? Come on. Really? Me?


Then suddenly the voice inside my head was running its yap again. At least it had the decency to keep it short and to the point..."Loooooooser!"

I hate that voice.