Reflection, help and love..

In March, I was fortunate to be a part of my first Frank Cares for Kids Raido-Thon. And, as many of you heard, I couldn’t get through the interviews without sobbing.

I couldn’t read 'the poem' without bawling my head off.

I am a mother of two - and Geoff has two kids that I care for as much as my own. To imagine that any one of them has been diagnosed with a terminal illness would be devastating. I couldn’t imagine watching them struggle with a problem that I couldn’t fix or help them solve. I would like to think I could draw upon some hidden inner strength – but I just can’t fathom doing so. The parents were remarkable.

One thing I learned about all the kids at the BBCH - They’re accepting, they’re insightful and they know that they have a purpose. They are wise beyond their years, they don’t feel sorry for themselves and don’t want you to feel that way either. They are magical.

Two boys in particular stole my heart. Josh and Cody.

Josh is a leukemia survivor, and little 3 year-old Cody is just starting his long and painful journey through treatment. When they met, it was like they were two old souls that shared a special secret that no one else knew. They were instantly drawn to one another and were fast friends. Cody followed Josh and his brother James all over that atrium playing and talking. Josh and his brother were so kind and patient to Cody. It was so wonderful to see…I smiled and I cried at the same time.

I am crying as I write this, and remembering how I felt those three days. I felt insignificant. I was unimportant. I was scared to go to the hospital, because I didn’t want to face myself. I liked my life. I liked to complain when I didn’t get my way, when traffic was too slow, when I got a blister from my new shoes. I was happy. The ‘problems’ in my life were so miniscule compared to what I saw and learned. Sure, my feet hurt at the end of the day but, who am I to complain about a blister from my shoe – when I am sitting next to someone who isn’t able to get up and walk around because they’re too sick? Ouch. Who knew that a serious look at ones self could hurt so much?

After my initial shock and sadness, I felt angry. Angry at the cancer that wanted to hurt these kids. I have seen people abuse and destroy their bodies by their own personal choices – drugs, alcohol, cigarettes... I was one of them – I smoked for 21 years. But these beautiful, perfect children don’t deserve to be hurt it and they sure didn’t ask for it. It wasn’t fair. How could this happen to them? Why would this happen to them? I never did get an answer to that question. I don’t think there is one.

Every five minutes, someone is diagnosed with blood cancer, such as leukemia and lymphoma.

Every ten minutes, blood cancer takes a life.

Currently only 3 in 10 patients will find a matching donor that could save their lives.

I am a blood donor. I have filled out the paperwork to become a bone marrow donor. It’s important. Much more important that I am. I know that not everyone that reads this will be motivated to change their life in order to change someone else’s, and that’s OK.

But if just one person makes the choice to help, then they have saved a life. A life like Cody's. A life like Josh's.

Here is a place to start making a difference:
http://www.dkmsamericas.org/category/marrow-donors

For all of you that sent email requests - I finally got my hands on 'the poem'. I call it 'the poem' because not only did it reduce me and those in my immediate area to tears, it caught you off guard in your kitchen while you were doing dishes. You heard it in your car and had to pull over and compose yourself before you were able to resume your travel. You heard it in your head at night like I did, when everything was quiet and your mind went to that place just before sleep.

Just For Today
by Sally Meyer

Just for this morning,
I am going to smile when I see your face...
and laugh when I feel like crying.

Just for this morning,
I will let you wake up softly in your flannel p.j.'s...
and hold you until you are ready to stir.

Just for this morning,
I will let you choose what you want to wear...
and I will say how beautiful you are.

Just for this morning,
I will step over the laundry to pick you up...
and take you to the park to play

Just for this morning,
I will leave the dishes in the sink...
and let you teach me how to put your puzzle together.

Just for this afternoon,
I will unplug the telephone and keep the computer off...
and sit with you in the garden
blowing bubbles.

Just for this afternoon,
I will not yell once, not even a tiny grumble when you
scream and whine for the ice cream truck...
and I will buy you one, if he comes by.

Just for this afternoon,
I won't worry about what you are going to be
when you grow up...
I will simply love you for the joy you bring me

Just for this afternoon,
I will let you help me make cookies...
and I wont stand over you . . . trying to 'fix things.'

Just for this afternoon,
I will take you to McDonald's and buy us both a 'Happy Meal'...
so you can have two toys.

Just for this evening,
I will hold you in my arms and tell you the story of how you
were born...
and how much we love you.

Just for this evening,
I will let you splash in the bathtub...
and I won't get angry when you pour water over your sister's
head.

Just for this evening,
I will let you stay up late...
while we sit on the porch swing
and count all the stars.

Just for this evening,
I will bring you glasses of water...
and snuggle beside you for hours...
and miss my favorite t.v. show.

And tonight when you are sleeping safe and warm in your bed,
I will think of the mothers and fathers
who mourn for the children they have lost.

I will remember the parents who sit by hospital beds,
watching over the little ones they love.

I will weep for those parents whose children are cold,
hungry and suffering,

and .... this evening,
when I kneel down to pray,
I will simply be grateful for all that I have

and not ask for anything... except just one more day.

Think about life today. But, not just yours. Wouldn’t you want someone in your corner too?

I am thinking about Cody and wishing him sunshine and love.

Heidi