My $50 Nap

On Sunday I took my family to see the new Disney/Pixar movie WALL*E. It's Pixar's latest in a sting of hits that include Toy Story, Monsters Inc., and Finding Nemo.

Now don't go see this movie expecting snappy banter like in other Pixar films. This one is a little short on dialogue...as a matter of fact it has virtually none for the first 30 minutes, outside of a few drones and beeps. The last movie with less chatter was that Tom Hanks flick where he gets washed up on an island and ends up talking to a soccer ball.

The difference here is that WALL*E doesn't grow a weird beard...or work for FedEx...OK, there are other differences too...but you get my point! Honestly, I heard more people talking on their cell phones during the show than I did on screen.

Enough of the sidebar...

WALL*E...which stands for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class...is a robot left on Earth to convert trash, rubble and garbage into little disposable blocks.

From what I can gather, all of the other WALL*E's have since ceased to operate and have themselves turned into junk. However, our WALL*E, has survived and somehow developed a very human like personality. Maybe it's from watching Hello Dolly on Beta max...or maybe it's because if he didn't we wouldn't have much of a movie on our hands and my kids wouldn't be screaming for everything that slightly resembles a robot...but that's another story for another blog.

Back to the movie...it's 700 years into the future and humans have gotten big, fat, and lazy and they've abandoned the planet to float in space on a super-sized space ship called the Axiom. On the ship passengers are endlessly bombarded with non-stop commercials, entertainment, and food...lot's of food.

Maybe seeing them suck down all that grub is what made my family decide that we should order up half the menu at Smitty's...whatever caused it, before I could get comfortable in my leather recliner...out came a waitress with pizza, fries, cookies, soda's and something cold and frosty...it may have been ice cream...I don't know! All I do know is that we scarfed that food like someone that had been trapped on a mountain for a week then turned loose at a Las Vegas buffet! When the waitress came back to see how things were going , it was all I could do hold back a very large man burp!

OK I digress...the big spaceship sends down EVE...Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator...to find out if any life form has regenerated on the planet. Long story short, she meets WALL*E...longing for companionship he makes a move on her...and like any dude that's been living by himself for a few years, hasn't showered, and has a curious infatuation with musicals...she rejects him, and breaks his little robot heart. In one final, last ditch effort to woo her...he shows her a plant that he found. Of course she takes the plant, goes into a trance and totally ignores WALL*E. (On a side note, EVE reminds me a lot of my first wife...but that aside, she's an OK chick...for a robot!)

At this point in the movie things got a little fuzzy for me...not that I couldn't follow along...it's just that lunch kicked in and that chair was so comfortable...before I knew it I was bobbin' for chest hair...I was O-U-T. Yes...I fell asleep.

I did wake up in time to see Eve save WALL*E from some computer that I'm guessing was evil. Since she saved him I'm assuming that she thawed out and warmed up to the little guy. I do know that humans returned to earth and by the time the credits rolled it seemed like all was well in the universe.

After reading a couple of on-line reviews, a magazine article, and seeing at least 25% of the movie I can tell you that the message was very clear...take care of the planet, don't over indulge, and NEVER go spend $50 on lunch in a dark theater because you're bound to fall asleep.