My new cell phone

Buying a new cell phone is a pain in the butt.

Oh sure it's easy to shop for a new phone...just go to your providers website, click upgrade, and there they are...all the new shiny models, with all their many features...AIM, text messaging, video and music sharing, camera...you name it and your phone can probably do it.

I guess that's cool when you're in your teens or 20's...but the truth is, as a 42 year old guy if I want to watch a movie it's not going to be on my cell phone. Call me old fashion, but I still like the thought of watching a movie on a BIG SCREEN in a place called the theater...or at least at home on my BIG SCREEN TV!

While I've accepted the fact that phones are now more than just phones...I still hate shopping for them. Maybe the only thing worse is shopping for a car.

The mistake I made today is that I actually went to the store to see the phone...well actually I went to touch the phone! I love the convenience of researching and getting the initial look on line...but hey, I'm old school...I want to get a hands on look at what I'm buying. Anything can look good in a picture...but it can be an entirely different thing once it arrives...just ask my buddy Mark who ordered himself a Russian bride a few years back! Eeeeek!



As I walked in the store it was like jumping into a pool of sharks while wearing a bloody meat suit! The sales person was on me instantly with her practiced smile and her fake voice. I tried my best to give her the brush off, but she was persistent...so I asked her to check my account and see which phones were available for free upgrade. I swear as she walked away I saw a dorsal fin on her back and the Jaws music started playing softly in the background...hang on, oh that was just a fancy ring tone!



Upon her speedy return she went to great lengths to tell me how convenient this new phone will make my life. So I challenged her a bit and said, "Oh really? Will it mow my lawn? How about take the dog for a walk? Will it unload the dishwasher so my wife will stop hounding me? Because if it can...then I'll take two of 'em!"

I'm not so sure she saw the humor in my line of questioning...however it did annoy her enough to go pounce on another unsuspecting hunk of chum...which made me happy!

After 20 minutes in the store looking at different makes and models, I finally decided on a phone...but it's never that simple. The shark told me that she didn't have that exact phone in stock...evidently gray is a popular color...but I was in luck, because she had a pink one!

Pink? Yeah...pink. Ummm, between you an me...I'm not a pink kinda guy!

So after all of that I came home...without a phone. I just ordered it on line and it should be here in a couple of days. Now I just have to find some 15 year old kid to show me how it works....I just hope he doesn't want me to watch Lord of the Rings or some other stupid movie on it before he shows me how to turn it on.