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Thursday, January 29, 2009

Things that irk the heck out of me...

OK, everyone has something that irks the heck right out of them. I just know it!

And for everyone who gets irked, there's always someone who has to say "What's the big deal? No one cares about that anyway." Or "Who even notices that? What're you some kind of freak?"

Well, whether or not I am a freak is beside the point, because I know that I'm not the only one who notices these things.

Here's an example; women wearing pajamas in public.

Sorry ladies, this doesn't make you look casual. It makes you look like crap. The last thing I want to see when I go to Hannaford is you pushing a cart full of frozen meals, potato chips and cheap beer; all while wearing your 'Sponge Bob Squarepants pj pants. There's usually a big sweatshirt that tops off the look. Often times, your poorly dyed hair is hastily pulled up in a scrunchie on top of your head. (Which you probably did last night before bed - and think the 'messy' look makes you sexier somehow.) Don't get me wrong, I love Sponge Bob Squarepants. But the pj pants don't belong on anyone over the age of 13. Sorry.

Something else I absolutely can't stand to see on women in public are sweatpants. Save them for the gym. Unless you're running along side the road, or playing basketball in the spring/fall when it's chilly outside, or you're training to be a prize fighter like Rocky - save them for wearing around the house. And just because they're 'new' doesn't mean you should wear them to the movies or out to dinner.

Get a grip!


It's no secret that I get up early for work. My alarm goes off between 2:30 and 2:45 each and every glorious morning. I climb out of bed, grab my clothes and head downstairs to shower, dress and take care of the dogs, coffee and anything else I can do before I have to leave at 3:30.

This morning, I grabbed a pair of socks out of the drawer, and got dressed quickly, shoved my feet in my boots and headed out to clean off the car and warm it up so I wouldn't be late. My pants were a little wet and my feet were cold in my boots so, when I got to the station, I kicked off the boots and sat in my stocking feet while I got ready to start my morning.

I looked down and saw something that absolutely drives me nuts...and it was on ME!
My socks weren't matched. That's right, I had two different socks on.
So, I did what any neurotic Morning Show Host with a blog would do. I rolled up my pant legs and took a picture with my phone.
Now, as for the socks....The're the same Old Navy Brand, they're the exact same style, but they're two different colors. If my feet weren't so cold, I would have taken them off and thrown them away.

I CAN'T STAND IT WHEN MY SOCKS DON'T MATCH. My kids know this and make fun of me all the time. They wear mismatched socks on purpose and ask me how I like them. I don't think it's funny - I am not the least bit amused.


Call me neurotic, call me a freak - say what you want. But, I know there is someone else out there with the same issue. Maybe it's not socks but it's something that is equally disturbing...
I am going home to change my socks now.


Rock on with your bad self,


H



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Wednesday, January 28, 2009

NBC Bans a Super Bowl Commercial

This morning I found out that NBC is refusing to air a commercial for People for the Ethical Treatment of Animals (PETA) during the Super Bowl this Sunday. NBC says the commercial is pornographic! Come on...pornographic...really?

While I'm no expert on porn...my eyes may have gazed upon a few magazine and/or movies over the years...but I don't think this commercial is pornographic...provocative, YES...porno, NO!

The ad features actresses getting...ummmm...friendly with vegetables, and NBC says the ladies are doing too good a job for the conservative audience that will tune into Sunday’s game between the Pittsburgh Steelers and the Arizona Cardinals. Conservative audience? Hello...can you say BEER DRINKERS? What guy throwing back some cold ones with his buddies is going to object to this commercial? I can tell you with certainty...NONE of my friends!

NBC says they objects to the following:

* licking a pumpkin
* breast touching while eating broccoli
* pumpkin from behind between legs
* rubbing pelvic region with a pumpkin
* asparagus on her lap
* licking an eggplant
* rubbing asparagus on breast

The ad uses the tagline that “vegetarians have better sex.” Apparently NBC doesn’t object to that statement but finds the combination of broccoli and skin too much.

All I can say is...BRING ON THE VEGGIES!

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Tuesday, January 27, 2009

American Idol for sure!

We found out today that Barry Manilow is coming back to American Idol next week! I can't wait! This guy is an icon for crying out loud, who doesn't love him?

Come on, he writes the songs that make the whole world sing! He writes the songs of love and special things, he writes the songs that make the young girls cry, he writes the songs. HE WRITES THE SONGS!

No body does it like Barry...



And I mean nobody...


Didn't you hear me? I said nobody....


Not even your friends...


So, go ahead and rock on with your bad self, as long as you let Barry do the singing.

Please.

H

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Friday, January 23, 2009

LOOK OUT here I come!!!

WOO HOO! Finally....


This is what I'll be doing today at Sunday River!






OK, actually, THIS is what I will be doing today at Sunday River.






Rock on with your bad self while I go try not to break myself.

H


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Tuesday, January 20, 2009

January 20th throughout history...

I know the big story for today is the Inauguration of President Elect Obama. The country is excited, and it would seem that the entire world is excited.



Well, January 20 has had a lot going on throughout the years - here's what I found with a quick little search of the wonderful vehicle called the Internet... I love the internet!


On this date in:

1801 John Marshall was appointed chief justice of the United States.


1841 Hong Kong was ceded to Great Britain.

1887 The U.S. Senate approved an agreement to lease Pearl Harbor in Hawaii as a naval base.



1896 Comedian George Burns was born Nathan Birnbaum in New York City.


1920 Movie director Federico Fellini was born in Rimini, Italy.

1936 Britain's King George V died.

1961 John F. Kennedy was sworn in as the 35th president of the United States.

1981 Iran released 52 Americans held hostage for 444 days.



1986 The United States observed the first federal holiday in honor of slain civil rights leader Martin Luther King Jr.

1986 Britain and France announced plans to build the Channel Tunnel.

1987 Anglican Church envoy Terry Waite disappeared in Beirut, Lebanon, while attempting to negotiate the release of Western hostages.

1989 George H.W. Bush took the oath of office as the 41st U.S. president.

"Read my lips. I won't eat broccoli"








1993 Bill Clinton was sworn in as the 42nd president of the United States.
1993 Actress Audrey Hepburn died at age 63.

2001 George W. Bush took the oath of office as the 43rd president of the United States.

2001 Hundreds of thousands of protesting Filipinos forced President Joseph Estrada to step down; Vice President Gloria Macapagal Arroyo was sworn in as the new president.

2004 The Salvation Army announced it had received a $1.5 billion donation from the estate of Joan Kroc, widow of McDonald's founder Ray Kroc.







Well, as interesting as all these things are, I am off to watch the Inauguration - this is history in the making, and I want to be able to tell my grandkids all about it!
Rock on with your bad self,
H




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Monday, January 19, 2009

It's that time of year, but it doesn't mean I like it...

I had a word of prayer with Matt Zidle this morning.
Friday, he said 'maybe 4-6 inches of snow this weekend, not a big deal'.

This is me yesterday trying to shovel the walkway between the house and the garage.

Last time I checked, when the snow is up to my knees, it's more than 4-6".

Who am I, Bilbo Baggins for crying out loud? I hardly think so.



Rock on with your bad selves & your shovels,

H

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Friday, January 16, 2009

I can't believe I am actually doing this...

A few weeks ago, Bill shared a photo with us of him circa 1982.

Now, it's my turn.

Although we're always asking for feedback on our blogs, this is the one time that I won't ask... Because I've heard it all. And hey - cut me some slack, I was 11-1/2!

Incidentally - regarding the glasses - I lost them at the beach. I couldn't see without them, and as I was paddling around a wave came up and ::WHOOSH:: swiped them right off my face! I tried to get them, but came up with handfulls of sand.

My mother was ripped and I thought she was going to kill me. To her it was the end of the world... to me it was friggin great! The only bad thing was, back then, there weren't any fancy one hour labs that could get them replaced, so I had to wait almost two weeks for them to be replaced!!!

I hated these glasses and my mother actually accused me of losing them on purpose. If you're reading this right now mother, don't call me up and say that you didn't. Because you did.

Rock on with your bad self,

H

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Thursday, January 15, 2009

Cold enough for ya?



This cold snap is already on my nerves for one reason and one reason only! It brings out the card carrying junior weather men. You know the guy...he watches the Weather Channel every waking hour and TiVo's it while he's asleep.

This dingle-berry can rattle off the low temperature in Broken Knee, Wyoming or recite facts about the heat wave of '56 in Possum Creek , Kentucky...in other words he needs to move out of his moms basement, stop stalking Matt Zidle at News 8, and get a life.

He's the same guy that's guilty of committing my BIGGEST weather related pet peeve...waiting until the temperature spikes to one extreme or the other...and then trying to make light of it all. For example, he waits until it's 10 below 0 and while you're standing there in your coat, gloves, and hat and still shivering...he'll say, "Hey...cold enough for ya?"

OH MY GAAAWD...I HATE THAT GUY!

It takes every fiber of my being not to say, "Why heavens no. I regularly pour water down the back of my pants on days like this and hope it freezes in my butt-crack!"

God bless this poor guy. Part of me feels kinda sorry for him. Really...that's probably the wittiest line he could come up with. But the overwhelming part of me can't feel for him...because after I would say something sarcastic like that...he would then go on to tell me about a show he saw one night on Science History Channel that dealt with that very issue...thus ruining my ever thinning mood.

I guess the point of all this is that it's OK to talk about the weather...heck, complain about it if you want...but for the love of Kevin Mannix...don't ask me if it's cold enough...because the answer is obviously YES! YES IT IS...as a matter of fact it's so cold that my kids won't have the joy of buying me a new nose hair trimmer for my birthday because all of my nose hairs have turned to icicles and have started dropping out of my nasal cavity at an alarming rate...it's quite the spectacle!

On that note I'm off to LL Bean for some new thermal undies...don't even get me started about shopping for those!

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A letter to my dogs.

Don't get me wrong.
I love dogs.
I've got a Jack Russell Terrier, and Geoff's got a Great Dane. They get along great - they're complete opposites but they don't know that. They are the best of friends and look after one another. It's endearing...

However, as dogs, they of course do things that completely tick me off. Get on the furniture and lick themselves so much it leaves wet sloppy spots that I always end up sitting in, they bring things in from outside that are not meant to come in (sometimes things that are completely unrecognizable), Maggie especially likes to take anything sweet off the counter and have a snack. Sweet rolls, donuts, cookies, cake, pie, doesn't matter; she's not picky. And there is always a mess going on somewhere with the floor; be it drool, hair or something else that they 'drop' every so often...There's also the occasion they just use whatever is laying around to make their mess.
I came across this 'letter to my dog' and I found it so appropriate I have personalized it, printed it out and will take it home to stick on the fridge. (Of course, I am always thinking of others, and think that if I post it here, you too can use it in your home.)


Dear Roscoe and Maggie,
The dishes with the paw prints are yours and contain your food. The other dishes are mine and contain my food. Placing a paw print in the middle of my plate of food does not stake a claim for it becoming your food and/or dish, nor do I find that aesthetically pleasing in the slightest. Feel free to consume that which has fallen from my plate onto the floor.
The hallway was not designed by NASCAR and is not a racetrack. Racing me down the hallway is not the object. Tripping me doesn't help because I fall faster than you can run. This applies to the stairs as well Maggie...

I cannot buy afford to buy a bed bigger than the one I have. I am very sorry about this. Do not think I will sleep on the couch to ensure your comfort, however. You can actually curl up in a ball, you know. You do not have to stretch out to the fullest extent possible. I also know that sticking tails straight out and having tongues hanging out on the other end to maximize space is nothing but sarcasm.

For the last time, there is no secret exit from the bathroom! If, by some miracle, I beat you there and manage to get the door shut, it is not necessary to claw, whine, try to turn the knob or get your paw under the door in an attempt to open the door. I must exit through the same door I entered. Also, I have been using the bathroom for years - canine attendance is not required. Not to mention, you stare. I don't like that.

The proper order for kissing is: Kiss me first, then go smell each others butts. I cannot stress this enough. GROSS!
We love you, but honestly, enough is enough!
That being said, in fairness to Roscoe and Maggie, I have posted the following message on the front (and back) doors of our house:

TO ALL NON-PET OWNERS WHO VISIT AND WANT TO COMPLAIN ABOUT OUR DOGS:

(1) They live here. You don't.
(2) If you don't want their hair on your clothes, stay off the furniture or just go home now.
(3) We like our dogs a lot better than we like most people, so don't push it.
(4) To you, they are just animals. To us, they are adopted children who are short, hairy, walk on all fours and thankfully...Oh praise God, don't talk.
Rock on with your bad self,
H

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Tuesday, January 13, 2009

What do you do to relax?

I was at the Dr yesterday, and he asked me "What do you do to relax?"

I laughed at him and said "What, are you kidding"? He wasn't laughing and asked me the question again.

Alright, he's serious... Uh, OK lets see. I uh, well, uh, I... Nothing. I do nothing to relax.

I mean come on after working, cleaning, cooking, shopping, doing laundry and chasing after four teens and two dogs I barely have the energy to drag myself to bed where I get a lousy night's sleep only to get up and do it all again...

He reminded me that the big ugly stress monster wasn't going to go away on it's own. We have to take the steps to manage it and bla bla bla...and he eased into the Dr-speak that they all have - that somehow doesn't come across as condescending or badgering; and we all smile and nod and agree with them "Yes, I know I should pay more attention to what I eat...Yes I know I should quit smoking..." And we keep that smile on until we leave the office.

You're guilty of it too, I know you are.


Well, I quit the smoking 8 months and 3 days ago. Done, finished. It was terribly hard, and I wouldn't go through it again if you offered me all the money in the world. I am working on the weight thing as well, and Geoff is a great support and motivator. He's genuine and helpful, I love him for that. The stress though, that's another thing all together. How do you get rid of stress?


My Doctor made some suggestions that have worked for other patients:


The first one was Visualization.

In this technique, you form mental images to take a visual journey to a peaceful, calming place or situation. Try to use as many senses as you can, including smells, sights, sounds and textures. If you imagine relaxing at the ocean, for instance, think about the warmth of the sun, the sound of crashing waves, the feel of the grains of sand and the smell of salt water. You may want to close your eyes, sit in a quiet spot and loosen any tight clothing.


OK, first of all, all my clothes are tight -hence the need for me to shed a few pounds...This one already isn't working for me. And sorry, if I want to smell the beach, I go to the beach, if I want to taste the beach, I make a coconut rum cocktail and mix it with pineapple soda. A few of those and I am pretty relaxed. I knew this one already apparently...


Progressive muscle relaxation was second...

In this technique, you focus on slowly tensing and then relaxing each muscle group. This helps you focus on the difference between muscle tension and relaxation, and you become more aware of physical sensations. You may choose to start by tensing and relaxing the muscles in your toes and progressively working your way up to your neck and head. Tense your muscles for at least five seconds and then relax for 30 seconds, and repeat

OK, tensing and relaxing my muscles? This happens when I come in contact with my EX husband. In my jaws AND my fists. Forget my toes, I don't need to relax them, they're primed and ready to be shoved into someone's back side.


Autogenic relaxation.

Autogenic means something that comes from within you. In this technique, you use both visual imagery and body awareness to reduce stress. You repeat words or suggestions in your mind to help you relax and reduce muscle tension. You may imagine a peaceful place and then focus on controlled, relaxing breathing, slowing your heart rate, or different physical sensations, such as relaxing each arm or leg one by one.

This one may have some merit... I can visualize my EX, then tense my muscles into a fist and then visualize myself reaching each one of my arms and smacking him about his head and shoulders. (heh heh, just kidding, I couldn't do that. He'd have me arrested or something.)

Then he mentioned some other relaxation techniques you may be more familiar with, such as

Yoga - which I just can't even imagine at this point...No thank you!
















Tai chi - this one actually looks really cool, although with my foot in this boot, it's not possible...








Music - Uh, hello...? Doesn't he know what I do for a living??





He went on to mention some others, but by this point I'd stopped listening... I had already started to visualize myself sipping a coconutty drink on my comfortable couch.

Oh come on, I am kidding! But, the truth of the matter is no matter how you handle it, whether you exercise, use humor or one of the above mentioned methods - it is very important that you try on a daily basis to eliminate some stress from some area of your life. Take care of yourself, you're the only one who can.

Rock on with your bad self, I am going to take a nice hot bath.

H

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Kevin Bacon Needs a New Movie

Let me start by saying I like Kevin Bacon...he was awesome in Footloose.




And I dig the whole Six Degree's of Seperation thing...but the dude obviously has too much time on his hands! Although this is pretty funny!


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Monday, January 5, 2009

Do I know you from somewhere?...

I guess it's time for me to join the masses and create a facebook page.


I really don't want to - it's just something else I will have to take care of; I'd rather get another houseplant. (Not that I can keep those alive for long either) I think the concept of MySpace is great. I even made a page there. Facebook isn't really any different when it all comes down to it - is it? You make a page, put up some pictures and find people that you haven't seen or spoken to in years. In some instances this is great! I've found many a friend through MySpace, that I'd been unable to contact any other way and I am grateful.


On the flip side though, there are some people you'd just as soon forget - and if I make a facebook page, then they can find me! They're already doing it - through my daughter's facebook page!!! She is tired of forwarding me email, and responding to the people who tell her that they went to school with me, knew me when we were 8; or worked with me at 'such and such a place'. She threatened that if I didn't make one, she'd make it for me!

Maybe I should let her. She's on there every day - several times! She's always running and saying "Be right back, I gotta go update my facebook page...Can I get copies of those pictures, I'd like them for my facebook page...Oh, I didn't know you knew so and so, he's my friend on facebook!" I just can't keep up!

Now don't get me wrong, so far, everyone who's gotten in touch with me (through Caitlin's page) has been someone I've thought about through the years, and reminiced fondly of our adventures together. But, I know that eventually, there will be someone who I have to add as my friend, because if I don't - they'll be all hurt and sad and wondering why I didn't make them my facebook friend...you know how it goes.



Of course this entails a new photo, and a new profile and just thinking about it exhausts me so much I need a nap...

Rock on with your bad self...

H

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