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Monday, June 30, 2008

My $50 Nap


On Sunday I took my family to see the new Disney/Pixar movie WALL*E. It's Pixar's latest in a sting of hits that include Toy Story, Monsters Inc., and Finding Nemo.

Now don't go see this movie expecting snappy banter like in other Pixar films. This one is a little short on dialogue...as a matter of fact it has virtually none for the first 30 minutes, outside of a few drones and beeps. The last movie with less chatter was that Tom Hanks flick where he gets washed up on an island and ends up talking to a soccer ball.

The difference here is that WALL*E doesn't grow a weird beard...or work for FedEx...OK, there are other differences too...but you get my point! Honestly, I heard more people talking on their cell phones during the show than I did on screen.

Enough of the sidebar...

WALL*E...which stands for Waste Allocation Load Lifter Earth-Class...is a robot left on Earth to convert trash, rubble and garbage into little disposable blocks.

From what I can gather, all of the other WALL*E's have since ceased to operate and have themselves turned into junk. However, our WALL*E, has survived and somehow developed a very human like personality. Maybe it's from watching Hello Dolly on Beta max...or maybe it's because if he didn't we wouldn't have much of a movie on our hands and my kids wouldn't be screaming for everything that slightly resembles a robot...but that's another story for another blog.

Back to the movie...it's 700 years into the future and humans have gotten big, fat, and lazy and they've abandoned the planet to float in space on a super-sized space ship called the Axiom. On the ship passengers are endlessly bombarded with non-stop commercials, entertainment, and food...lot's of food.

Maybe seeing them suck down all that grub is what made my family decide that we should order up half the menu at Smitty's...whatever caused it, before I could get comfortable in my leather recliner...out came a waitress with pizza, fries, cookies, soda's and something cold and frosty...it may have been ice cream...I don't know! All I do know is that we scarfed that food like someone that had been trapped on a mountain for a week then turned loose at a Las Vegas buffet! When the waitress came back to see how things were going , it was all I could do hold back a very large man burp!

OK I digress...the big spaceship sends down EVE...Extraterrestrial Vegetation Evaluator...to find out if any life form has regenerated on the planet. Long story short, she meets WALL*E...longing for companionship he makes a move on her...and like any dude that's been living by himself for a few years, hasn't showered, and has a curious infatuation with musicals...she rejects him, and breaks his little robot heart. In one final, last ditch effort to woo her...he shows her a plant that he found. Of course she takes the plant, goes into a trance and totally ignores WALL*E. (On a side note, EVE reminds me a lot of my first wife...but that aside, she's an OK chick...for a robot!)

At this point in the movie things got a little fuzzy for me...not that I couldn't follow along...it's just that lunch kicked in and that chair was so comfortable...before I knew it I was bobbin' for chest hair...I was O-U-T. Yes...I fell asleep.

I did wake up in time to see Eve save WALL*E from some computer that I'm guessing was evil. Since she saved him I'm assuming that she thawed out and warmed up to the little guy. I do know that humans returned to earth and by the time the credits rolled it seemed like all was well in the universe.

After reading a couple of on-line reviews, a magazine article, and seeing at least 25% of the movie I can tell you that the message was very clear...take care of the planet, don't over indulge, and NEVER go spend $50 on lunch in a dark theater because you're bound to fall asleep.


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Saturday, June 28, 2008

The Portland Sea Dogs welcome my son, Nick Fox


Friday night the Portland Sea Dogs played the New York Yankee's affiliate, The Trenton Thunder.

My son Nick has been on me for weeks to get tickets to the game...not because he is thrilled by the whole Red Sox vs. Yankees thing...or because he's played T-Ball the past two years and now has dreams of playing big league ball someday...or even because he just likes hanging at the ball park and diggin' the vibe! No, more primitive urges were driving this desire to see Portland's best ball players...it was the primordial urge to even the score between brothers!

You see Nick was supposed to go to a game last month. I had bought the tickets with the sole purpose of taking him once his T-Ball season wrapped up...sort of a celebration of his commitment and love of the game...however, things didn't work out quite the way we planned.

Before we could get to game day, Nick decided that cleaning-up his room really wasn't a priority. After repeatedly telling him to get it done, I finally made the ultimate ultimatum...clean the room or no Sea Dogs game! (cue the ominous music)

Being the son of two strong-headed parents he reacted as only he could...he set his jaw, stomped off toward his room to do the inevitable...but before he got there he just had to get in one more final comment under his breath...and that was his Achilles heel...because he was still close enough for me to hear him utter a curse word! The word isn't really important...it wasn't anything too inflammatory, but it was a curse none the less...and while I fought to keep a smile from crossing my face...I had to lower the hammer.

So Nicks dream of getting that Sandy Madera autograph was going to have to wait. (Cue the tears and the tirade of what a horrible father I am...at least until he wants $14 for a new Webkinz, then I'm the coolest dude to walk upright on the planet...it's all par for the course)

My oldest son, Jack...always the opportunist...was watching all of this unfold much like a bird of prey watches a mouse from his tree branch high above. Seconds after "Nick the Curser" shuffled off to his room in tears...Jack slid up next to me on the coach and said something like, "Ya know Dad...it would be a shame to see that ticket to the Sea Dogs go to waste. Maybe you and I should just go to the game."

After reminding him of our last Sea Dogs outing together...where he lasted for two hot dogs, a coke, and a Sea Dogs Biscuit...he insured me that he was "more mature" now and actually enjoyed baseball for more than just the menu at the concession stand. So it was decided...Jack and I would go to the game. It turned out out be an amazing experience for both of us...some real father/son bonding and a lesson in baseball and life. It rates as one of my favorite days so far this year. None of the experience was wasted around our house...Jack made a point to let his brother know what a great time we had, exactly how much money I had spent, and of course...how he could have gone IF he could have just controlled his foul mouth!

Nick, a little wiser than last time he got mad, looked at Jack with a glare that only brothers give another brother...shuffled off, mumbling something under his breath...checking to make sure I wasn't close enough to hear it!

So...when I announced I had tickets for last nights game he was thrilled...his long exile from Hadlock Field was about to end.



Wanting to make this a night to remember...I decided to use my very minor celebrity status to see if I could pull a few strings for my son. So I made a couple of calls and before I knew it we were standing inside the stadium hoping to meet Nicks favorite player, Sandy Madera.

It was kind of weird...I could tell he was excited, but he was very quiet. In retrospect I'm sure it was for no other reason than to carefully file away every detail in order to brag to his brother about how he got an "insiders look" at the Sea Dogs operation and how much they really liked him!

Anyway...as fate would have it the weather conspired against our best efforts and the team was holed up in the club house waiting for the rain to pass...so Sandy wasn't available. If he was disappointed, Nick didn't show it...at least not much...

The Sea Dogs staff was great! Chris made sure Nick got out of the rain and into the stadium early, armed with Slugger cards...and then to top it all off, Jessica offered Nick a once-in-a-lifetime opportunity...the chance to race Slugger around the bases! Now you tell me...what 6 year old kid with dreams of playing for the Sea Dogs...wouldn't take that deal!

Finally after 5 long innings (long from the perspective of a little kid about to race a minor league baseball team mascot) Nick finally made his way to the field for the most important race of his young life. This was life or death...there were players and coaches watching this race...maybe they would see how fast he runs, his fantastic instincts, and uncanny ability to slide home...his skills so great and finely honed, that they may actually offer him a deal to play for the team that very night! (Of course I'm talking about me...I'm sure Nick was excited too)

Anyway...the cue was given and the race was on. Nick's legs pumping faster than I've ever seen, he kept looking over his shoulder to check Slugger's status. As he rounded third, headed for home plate I could tell he was considering a slide...but then at the last possible second decided otherwise. As he crossed the plate he was met with thunderous applause...and the smile on his face was priceless. He walked off the field like it was no big deal...something he had done a hundred times before. When I asked him why he didn't slide his reply was priceless...he said, "I didn't want to show off too much...now can I have a Sea Dog Biscuit...I'm starving...running around the bases takes a lot out of ya!"




Oh yeah...the Sea Dogs won! Sandy Madera hit a homerun his first at bat of the game and then had a couple of RBI's at the end. And while he has no idea he's my sons favorite player...he was kind enough to take time to sign his ball after the game was over...and seemed genuinly happy to do so.

I hope that someday Nicks dream of becoming a Major League Baseball player comes true...and it turns out that he has an amazing career. If it does happen...more than anything I hope that he keeps that same attitude...work hard to win, don't show off too much...and remember that there's nothing better than ice cream at the ball park.

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Friday, June 27, 2008

Prince Charming??



A WOMAN'S POEM




Before I lay me down to sleep,I pray for a man, who's not a creep,


One who's handsome, smart and strong.


One who loves to listen long,One who thinks before he speaks,


One who'll call, not wait for weeks.


I pray he's gainfully employed,


When I spend his cash, won't be annoyed.


Pulls out my chair and opens my door.


Massages my back and begs to do more.


Oh! Send me a man who'll make love to my mind,


Knows what to answer to 'how big is my behind?'


I pray that this man will love me to no end,


And always be my very best friend.








A MAN'S POEM


I pray for a deaf-mute gymnast nymphomaniac with huge boobs


who owns a bar on a golf course,


and loves to send me fishing and drinking.


This doesn't rhyme and I don't give a sh*t.


The End

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Thursday, June 26, 2008

Scooter trash

OK, so I have to admit, I am a sucker for a man on a motorcycle. Especially a Harley...

The sound of the bike drives me crazy. I merely hear one and my head snaps around to see where it is. (I also have an affinity for Firemen and my head does this same swivel to check for a firetruck. Something about a man in turn out gear makes me crazy in the head. Not like hump their leg crazy, but you know...) Anyway, today, I saw many people out and about enjoying the nice weather. There was no rain early in the day so it afforded many folks to get out and appreciate the weather.

I always look at motorcycles, no matter the brand, style or color. I think they represent independence, freedom and a certain attitude that us folks who don't drive them wish we had.

People who ride motorcycles are totally cool!

However, I don't understand how someone could actually enjoy riding one of those 'crotch rockets' because you have to bend so far over the tank to get to the handlebars ( I mean really, what makes that fun except for the speed??) not to mention you look like a complete tool when you're riding one. I much prefer a cruiser to a rocket. Oh who am I kidding, I hear a bike, I look.

I think that a helmet should be an option. I don't think someone should have the right, whether it be State or Federal government, to tell you how to ride, what to wear, etc...
Much like I think the seat belt law is absolutely nuts. (In the event of an accident, I prefer to be thrown clear of the vehicle)

I have it on good authority that due to the price of gasoline, many folks are going the way of the cycle (some motorized some pedal power) to get around, and I think that is totally cool. However, today, I saw something that actually made me throw up a little bit in my mouth.

A man on a scooter. ARE YOU EVEN KIDDING ME?

I know that everyone has their own preference, but come on! What man in his right mind would be caught dead, DEAD on a scooter? That isn't what Hells Angels means when they call you 'Scooter Trash'! Someone needs to revoke this guys 'man card'.

Honestly. My prediction is this guy is either married or in a serious long term relationship. No woman in her right mind would want to persue this guy, he can't even ride a real bike for cryin out loud!

I mean really...the only protective gear he wasn't wearing was elbow/knee pads.

I don't care how cost effective they are, or how 'cute' they are, if you're a man and you're riding one, you look like an @ss. At least in my opinion.

Enough for now. Talk with you tomorrow.

Rock on with your bad self,

H

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Random Thoughts On Pro Athletes, The Boston Celtics, Sweating, Last Comic Standing, and George Carlin

There are so many things I would love for us to talk about on Frank's Place with Bill & Heidi...trouble is there just isn't enough time to touch on everything.

I try to make sure we talk about the really big things that everyone will be talking about when you get to work. Some things we choose not to get into because of subject matter and relevance. We do our best to strike a balance between topical, fun, and serious...not to mention play music too. So from time to time we have to skip over things that I'd otherwise love to chat about.

For example...this A-Hole professional baseball player that choked the teams General Manager! Houston Astros Pitcher Shawn Chacon was just sitting down to his pre-game meal when GM Ed Wade asked to see him in the managers office for a meeting.

As Chacon tells the story to the Houston Chronicle, Wade yelled at him and was verbally abusive. When Chacon asked him to stop yelling at him, Wade continued his tirade and that's when Chanon stood up...more words were exchanged and then Chacon threw his boss on the floor and began choking him! (OK...in my opinion a little overboard...but hey, maybe the cafeteria was serving his favorite meal and he didn't want to be interrupted! I know when I'm having my favorite dish I hate to be disturbed!)

Chacon has been suspended indefinitely for insubordination. Insubordination? How about assault and battery? Jeesh...suspend the guy for life. Who in their right mind chokes their boss? Hey, I get called into meetings all the time by my boss...sometimes I don't feel like going either, but ya know what? He's my boss...he has the right to call me in for a talk if he needs to. Granted, I like my boss and I haven't been demoted in status like Chacon has...but still...choking your boss? This dude is a BIG LOSER if ya ask me.

I won't even get into what kind of example he setting for kids that look up to professional athletes because that's an entirely different can of worms...again, something I would love to get into on the air if we just had the time.



One of the better stories from today is that the Gatorade stained shirt that Doc Rivers wore last week when the Celtics won the NBA Finals has sold for $35,000 to an anonymous bidder. Meanwhile, Gatorade and another donor have bumped the price up to $55,000...and Steve Pagliuca will donate another $35,000 if the person who bought the shirt will let Boston put the shirt on display from time to time. All that money goes to charity!


Speaking of the Boston Celtics, tonight is the NBA Draft. The World Champs pick 30th in the first round...and the hot rumor among NBA insiders is that the Celtics may pick up Kansas State power forward Bill Walker.



Well, as I type this the rain has started here in Hollis. As much as I hate it because it traps my kids inside...and you know how much I love that (see earlier posts)...I'm actually glad it's raining now because the humidity was horrible an hour or two ago.

However, I'm NOT complaining because we have it pretty good here in Maine. people living in Phoenix...not so much! For the 4th year in a row, Phoenix has been named America's Sweatiest City! Residents there pump out an average of 26.4 ounces of sweat an hour during the summer....think about it...that's equal to 2 cans of soda! UGH!


OK...my Must See TV Pick of the Night: Last Comic Standing on NBC at 8:30.
I love this show...it's a chance to see a group of (usually) very funny comics not only do stand-up comedy, but also also compete in crazy challenges, and interact/live with other comics. Some of the funniest stuff actually isn't supposed to be funny...it's mostly how they get on each others nerves and talk about each other!

Here's a clip of Marcus...one of my favorites on this years show:



Another one of my favorites is Eddie Pepitone...check him out on Youtube. I'd LOVE to put a clip of his stuff on here...but it's a little too R rated for Frank!



And finally, George Carlin passed away and everyone is coming out of the wood work to pay tribute to a true legend! HBO2 is showing all of Carlin's 13 HBO specials from the past 30 years...and Saturday Night Live will re-air their debut episode from 1975, hosted by George Carlin, this Saturday night!

Here's Carlin, circa 1975, on The Mike Douglas Show.


Alright...that's it for now...talk to you in the morning.

Bill

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Wednesday, June 25, 2008

Wednesday 6/25/08

So... I get home today (after running all over hell and creation for my kids) and think, "Ahh, I'd sure love a nap! I stayed up way too late last night watching Wipe out and I survived a Japanese Game Show on T.V.! I will grab the dog, a glass of water and head to the solitary, dark room at the back of the house where I keep my bed! I will have a nice little nap and wake up refreshed and ready to face the beautiful afternoon, do my chores, make dinner, hang out with the kids - maybe get a double scoop blueberry ice cream cone later from Smiling Hill Farm. YUM!"

I got the dog, the water and closed the door to my room shutting out the household noise. I plugged in my phone, pulled back the curtains, opened the windows and lay down on the bed. I got all comfy on my pillow, grabbed a light blanket, (I am not the kind of person who can sleep without covers - no matter the temperature outside or in my room...I think that is a security thing, but in all my years of therapy, it never came up so I can't really say for sure) closed my eyes and thought of nothingness.

I was in a complete state of bliss, and am sure I would have been drooling had my phone not rang and shattered my silence. I looked at the phone and didn't recognize the #, so my finger automatically hit silence. Then I reconsidered and remembered that I had a new phone# and the only people who have this # are people I've personally given it to, so I decided to go ahead and answer it.

It was my friend Dan from high school! He called to say that he was coming through town and wanted to stop and say hello. He lives in Laurinburg, N.C. and I haven't seen him in years! How exciting! I am so glad I took his call!! He is going to come over for dinner tonight, and we're going to catch up on what's happened for us in the past ten years. I can't believe it's been that long. Has it really? Goodness! How time flies!

When we hung up, I jumped out of bed, grabbed my phone, my purse and my keys and headed out the door for dinner. While I am driving out of the yard, I say to myself, "Heidi you know what you have to make for dinner...this is a special visitor...go to the Meat House and get some Burgundy Wine Tips and whatever else they have that looks good! I drove over to SoPo and of course forgot about that stupid STUPID construction traffic there at exit #3 of 295.

I finally made it to the Meat House and not only did I get my Burgundy Wine Tips, I got some Sun dried Tomato marinated chicken, some asparagus, some fresh Mitchell's salsa (OMG so good) and some nacho strips - but they had some red potatoes with garlic pepper seasoning, all cut up and ready to throw on the grill as well! I made a few other selections from the beer case and for about $40 I have a meal fit for a king, AND my friend Dan! Not to mention I will have food for tomorrow's left over night! Way cheaper than going out, and so much tastier!
I know you hear Bill and I talking up the Meat House - Yes, it really IS that good!!!
Plus, I get the satisfaction of making the meal while hanging out in the kitchen spending time with my friend!

On my way home, I let a city bus driver, pull out into traffic ahead of me - much to the chagrin of the motorists behind me - and saw the delight in his face because I wanted him to go first. That was my good deed for the day, and now I am free to eat 'meat candy and drink beer' for the remainder of my day.

Rock on with your bad selves,

H

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Move Over Mad Fisherman...FISH MAN is here!


I love it when my kid's think I'm bigger than life!

It's true...every dad secretly wants to be a Super Hero! Me? I'm FISH MAN!

Yeah I know...the name kinda sucks...but I don't care because I walked around my house yesterday the envy of every dad on my street. When I took my son's, Jack and Nick, fishing yesterday afternoon I was planning on the typical day...you know the one where I spend 80% of my time baiting hooks, untangling line, and removing hooks from unsuspecting fingers...another 10% breaking up fights over the best flavor of fruit snacks, and then 10% actually fishing!

But yesterday the fishing gods shined their benevolent light on me and all was right in the land of Large Mouth Bass. Both boys were in great moods and they only got better (as did mine) when I landed fish #1...while it was truly nothing to write home about...it certainly set the mood for the day. There were smiles, laughter, and pats on the back for the Old Man (that's me!)...so imagine the surprise (including mine) when the next 2 fish flopped to the shore within minutes.

At one point Nick asked Jack if he'd like to move to another area of the lake. By Jacks look you would have thought he'd just been asked if he'd like to go back and repeat 2nd grade all over again! His answer was just as funny, "No way Nick. Dad is like a fish magnet. I'm staying right here."

When I pulled in bass #5 I had reached the status of Living Legend...and when #6 got pulled in I was officially a Super Hero...yes, FISH MAN! The name stinks, as did the fish, but the feeling/experience I shared with my 2 son's didn't stink...even for a second!

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Tuesday, June 24, 2008

Piercing update!!!

OK, as you heard yesterday - we discussed with, my daughter Caitlin, the fact that she wants a body piercing. This is what I think of when I hear body piercing... I picked THE LEAST GRAPHIC photos from the stupid collection that I've received over the past day (thank you to all the listeners who are supportive of me and my decision!) to put up on this blog...

Some people may still consider these graphic, and if you're upset by them, then I offer my apology. But I chose to post the pics in my blog to further reinforce my point. And besides, maybe there are some of you who are going through this same struggle at home right now and can use these as ammo for your kids! What parent doesn't love that?

OK, so here we go...Who in their right mind wants to do something like this?
I mean really. Look at the surprise on this guys face. He can't believe he would do something so totally stupid either!



OK, how about this... Do you suppose her mother was cool with her putting this on her face? Look at her lips! They're beautiful!! They're perfect!! Now she has gone and ruined them... There is nothing "SEXY" about this at all. At least not to me.




Apparently, these two like to play hide and seek.

OK, I am down with that... You go hide and I will come seek you after oh, I dunno, 10- 15 years.... Peek-A-Boo, I see a FREAK. Yeah laugh it up funny guy, cause you don't look a bit stupid. Oh, and uh, she is smiling because she doesn't look like you.




This. Is. Just. Plain. Stupid.
Was he drunk? On pills? Cause I won't accept that someone willingly did this kind of action to themselves on purpose. Oh, wait, I know, this is an ER photo right? Hey wait, isn't this the guy who 'accidentally shot himself in the head with a nail gun'? Or was that guy trying to copy this guy,? Either way, it sucks.



All I can say to this one is WTF?


So, in conclusion, I ask you, how do these people make a living? Do you suppose any of them are school teachers? I showed the pics to my daughter and asked her that same question. Since yesterday and seeing these photos, she has changed her mind and now has decided that she'd like another tattoo. Which is totally cool with me. (Yes, even though it is permanent!)

I know that she will have to think long and hard about where to put it, what to get, how big it should be, etc. She has a small one already on her hip. She thought about that one for years. Who knows, maybe she will forget all about it in a few weeks. Maybe not.

If she doesn't, then that's still OK. Who knows, I may go along with her and get another one myself! Once you start, you can't stop. It's kinda like that commercial for Lay's potato chips from back in the day. There's no stopping at just one...

Until next time, rock on with your bad self...

H

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Tuesday 6/24/08

Well, I had hoped that by the time this day came, I would be prepared. I had hoped to be able to rejoice and enjoy the freedom that this day would bring. Now that it is here, I am not ready to rejoice or celebrate anything about it.

What is this day you ask?

What is happening that should be cause for rejoicing?
(or in my current state of mind, non-rejoicing)

My boy-child starts drivers education today.

Now, don’t misunderstand me, or misconstrue what I am about to say. I am happy for him. Happy for the independence he will feel, happy for the status it will give him with his friends and classmates, happy that he will be able to drive himself to all the places he wants to go. But, there are some concerns I have regarding this day and what it is going to represent.

Yeah, yeah I know, I will have a teen in the house that I can send on errands when I don’t feel like dragging my lazy @ss out of the house – I can get extra chores out of him when he wants gas money or to take my car on a date because it is nicer than his.

That’s all old news. I went through that with my girl-child, see?

I also don’t anticipate any teary eyed calls at 11:00PM telling me he is lost and can’t give me a street name or a landmark, to be able to figure out where he is and then lead him home, like the girl-child has. He is already much better with finding his way to and fro, by using landmarks.

Anyway, he starts drivers training today and I am not happy about it.
I suppose the biggest problem I have with all of this, is that I told him I expected him to pay for his drivers ed. His sister paid for hers in full, before I would even let her sign up for the class.

Driving isn't a right, it is a privilege.

It isn't a basic need that I am required, as a parent, to provide. I am however expected to provide the 'building blocks of life' that he will need to go out into society and be a productive and responsible citizen.
That to me means, show him what it takes to make him self sufficient:
1.) GET A JOB
2.) PUT YOUR MONEY IN THE BANK
3.) KNOW YOUR LIMITS AND SAVE FOR WHAT YOU WANT
(this would also include a lesson on the difference between want and need...)
4.) BE RESPONSIBLE FOR YOURSELF

So, what does my son go and do? He talks his father into paying for his classes. What a weasel!
Now, even though I've gone on about this class at length, it's really nothing compared to the fact that he has to take SUMMER SCHOOL and this driving thing is interfering with his education!
That makes me REALLY cross! Leave it to my EX to go and make a decision without consulting me (the other parent) and screw something up. Now, I have to get involved in something I had no part of, and try to make things copacetic for everyone involved.

Education, is always more important than fun.
At least in my opinion, and when we're discussing my teenage children.

Rock on with your bad selves, I got a mess to clean up.

H

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TV Shows

I LOVE TV. There it is...I've said it and I'm not ashamed.

Oh, I know what the nay sayers and the so-called-experts say; it will turn my brain to mush... there's nothing good on these days...Reality TV sucks!

OK...I hear them...and some of them are right. Not ALL TV is good. But some of it is down right amazing! Say what you will about American Idol, Dancing with the Stars, or America's Got Talent...but those show's get people watching, talking, and dreaming about their own potential (or lack there of!). Who among us hasn't secretly wished we could be a rock star, or show off a talent that could make us famous beyond out wildest dreams...or in my case dance like someone without two left feet?

With all of that in mind ABC is offering up two new shows tonight guaranteed to have all of us talking tomorrow morning...and telling everyone we know, "Jeesh! I could do that!"

Prepare yourself for Wipeout...where 24 contenders compete in an extreme obstacle course.



And then there's I Survived a Japanese Game Show...


Just try to tell me these shows won't be HUGE!

OK...so maybe these aren't your kind of shows. Perhaps you prefer something from when things weren't quite so hectic and in your face...back when you rocked a totally awesome mullet or wore leggings and Molly Ringwald was really hot!

Well then, check out http://www.hulu.com/. It's an amazing website where you can watch full-length episodes of some of your favorite classics like, Fantasy Island, The A-Team, or WKRP in Cincinnati.


Maybe you still harbor some deep seated fantasy about Barbara Eden. Then check out your favorite episode of I Dream of Jeannie, or roll out on the mean streets with the cops from Hill Street Blues (one of my personal favorites...let's be careful out there people!)


No matter what you watch...I think you'll agree it's a very cool website and a great way to waste some valuable work time!

Happy viewing.

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Monday, June 23, 2008

George Carlin

We lost a comedy genius over the weekend. By now you've probably heard that George Carlin passed away on Sunday from "heart failure"...a twist of verbal irony that I'm sure wouldn't be lost on George himself...because isn't it always heart failure that ends it all?

OK maybe I'm getting too deep into the George Carlin word-play!

Bottom line...Carlin took comedy to an entirely different level back in the day when people were still wearing suits and ties with nice neat haircuts. Carline said "screw that". He grew his hair, wore a beard, and dressed in black. He was the very first host of Saturday Night Live, made over 20 albums, appeared on TV and in movies , got nominated for awards, and pushed a lot of establishment buttons.

George Carlin never rested on his past accomplishments. His style continued to grow and change. For me though he was at his best in the mid 80's. I remember watching his HBO specials with my dad...each of us laughing so hard we had tears in our eyes. For me it's one of my fondest memories shared with my dad. I'm sure that later today we'll talk and Carlins passing will be one of the first subjects of our conversation.

It's kind of weird when someone famous passes...although most of us never really new the person except for what we saw on TV, in the movies, or read in interviews...but somehow we all feel a little sad for the loss.

George Carlin was on Inside the Actor's Studio a few years ago and was asked what he hoped to hear God say when he walked through the Pearly Gates...and as usual, Carlin said it like no one else could...he replied, "Now we're gonna have some fun around here."

I'm sure Heaven is in stiches this morning.

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Monday 6/23/08

Well, I just got back from washing Bill's car - due to the fact that I lost the bet. I knew that I had pretty much lost, when I woke up on Saturday morning - but no big deal, right? I can handle a car wash. Little did I know, that Bill also knew by Saturday morning, that I was going to be washing his car, and decided to take his family on a nice long tour through 'bug central'...

So, I helped a very close friend of mine do some painting this weekend.
I would have to say the highlight was being on a ladder painting the house when it started thunder & lightening and pouring buckets from a bright blue sky! Now, maybe you don't think that rain, thunder and lightening are a big deal...But, let me tell you how much I hate being up on a ladder.

I HATE BEING UP ON A LADDER!

Going up is really no big deal, it's the coming down that gets me!
Now, picture something else I HATE - thunder & lightening.
So, imagine if you will, my surprise and dismay when the weather decided to turn ugly and make a bold appearance whilst I am up on said ladder... I am lucky I didn't break my neck and spill all my paint trying to get down. I did spill a great deal on my arm and down my right leg, but, in the grand scheme of things, it's replaceable. I am not. Well, OK , maybe I am, but that's not the point, alright? My point is, it will be a loooooong time before this kid goes back up a ladder.

Here's the thing - I don't think I am afraid of heights, I think I am just afraid of falling.
Or getting struck by lightening.

Yeah, I am pretty sure that would suck.

Heck it would suck even more to get struck by lightening and THEN fall off the ladder.

On that note, rock on with your bad self, see you soon!

H

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Washing My Car and Other Random Thoughts...

Yes...it's true...Heidi is washing my car.



As a matter of fact she has already washed it (although, she certainly didn't approach it with the same vigor that she did when arguing that Love Guru would be #1 at the box office over the weekend!)

There are those that think she shouldn't have to honor the bet...although she's the one that proposed the entire idea. As a rule, I don't usually make bets...unless I have a direct impact on the results...however this was truly a suckers bet because anyone that knows anything about movies (and Heidi doesn't) knew that Love Guru was a disaster waiting to happen. Now don't misunderstand me...I LOVE Mike Myers. So I Married an Axe Murder is one of the funniest movies ever...Love Guru, not so much. My advice to Mike Myers...go write another Austin Powers movie or count all the money you made off of the first three.

In retrospect I probably shouldn't have had her wash my car...now it's SURE to rain again.

The rain is nice on a hot summer day...heck, I don't even mind if it rains 2 days in a row...really. But a week of rain? Enough already. It's a major pain in the butt. Oh sure it means that we have puddles filling the pot holes in Portland and you could wreck a good tire...or maybe the basement gets a little wet...and yes, it means holding off on a trip to Pine Point or Sebago Lake...but that all pales in comparison to the biggest problem with non-stop rain: MY KIDS ARE STUCK INSIDE THE HOUSE AND THEY'RE DRIVING ME INSANE!

I've tried movie marathon's, board games (or is that BORED games?), on-line games, reading, art projects, chores...you name it...I've tried everything to keep them entertained. I guess the good news is that if my radio career ever goes up in smoke I've got all the training I need to be a GREAT cruise ship director!

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Friday, June 20, 2008

Wow...

Well, this is my first time blogging - I've been given a few tips to make it more engaging, so hopefully I will be informative, entertaining and to the point. I know the keystrokes to get me here now, so you're going to have to deal with my rants, raves and what-not on whatever topic I choose to discuss.

Muuuuaahhhhhaaaa! (evil, menacing laughter)

Today, Bill and I made a bet.
A bet about a movie no less.

While discussing the 'new releases' at the theater this weekend, I told him that I was really excited about The Love Guru, and bet him a car wash that it would be #1 over the weekend!

What?!?

As I sit here and write this, I am thinking that perhaps I was a bit hasty in making that bet. Not because I am afraid of losing, oh no! Rather, because my history with movies, attending them, knowing stories about them or even remotely remembering what some of them are about if I have seen them - is not good.

If you've been listening to our show at all, you will have heard Bill give me a hard time about my lack of movie knowledge (or viewing) on more than one occasion. I don't mind this, as I could really care less most of the time. So, I suppose in essence, what I'm saying here is that I really don't know what I'm talking about when it comes to movies, and I had no right to make the call that The Love Guru would be #1 at the box office! I mean come on, I am not stupid. I've seen the reviews... Yikes.

However, dramatic pause, I will say that I love corny, quirky humor and find Mike Meyers highly entertaining in a juvenile, pubescent way. I own all the Austin Powers movies, and watch them on a regular basis.

So, make sure you're listening on Monday @ 8:30 to see who wins this bet!


Guess we'll find out how bad I really am with the whole movie thing, won't we...Oh well, I can't be good with everything I do. I mean, come on, I am practically perfect in so many other areas already... I gotta leave the 'little things' for someone else!

Rock on with your bad selves...

H

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Tuesday, June 17, 2008

WHAT A RAIN STORM

Holy cow! My power just came back on a few minutes ago, after a major thunderstorm rolled through Hollis Center. Now it's hailing non-stop...and not just little chunks of ice...this stuff is big enough to put in a glass and pour vodka over (which doesn't sound like a bad idea!)

While I usually don't mind the rain...today just isn't the best day for a thunderstorm. You see, it's my kids first day of Summer vacation and they've been stuck inside most of the day. If you're a parent you know what that means...alternating bouts of arguing with each other and then getting along for 15 minutes, flipping through 76 channels of TV and finding nothing to watch (which is to say that Sponge Bob Square Pants, iCarly, and/or My Gym Partner is a Monkey isn't on!) and asking me questions like, "Dad what would happen if I put a snake in your underwear drawer?" (Yes I did check to see if there was in fact one there hiding under my Calvin Kleins...thank God there wasn't, but it's only the first day of their vacation!)

My wife and I are about to begin my least favorite conversation of the day...you know the one..."What do you want to have for dinner?" she'll ask. "I don't know...what do you want?" I'll reply. She'll then take a deep breath and say, "I don't know either. Boys, what do you want for dinner?"

After years of asking this I don't know why either of us is surprised when we get the answer, "Macaroni and Cheese!" I swear these kids own stock in Kraft that I know nothing about. If it were up to them they would eat Mac and Cheese every single day of their existence. Of course I'm positive this will all change when they go to college and expect me to foot the bill for T-Bone steaks and cases of Shipyard so they can impress some hot cheerleader!

Aaah yes, as if on cue...here comes my wife down the hall carrying something frozen in a box with that "How does this sound for supper" look on her face. So on that note I'm headed off to get out a box of Macaroni and Cheese...and maybe check the MSNBC stock ticker to see how Kraft did today on Wall Street.

Talk to you in the morning.

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Wednesday, June 11, 2008

Frank's Place: Our first blog!

Wow! This Frank website just keeps getting better and better. First it was Frank's Place On Demand where you can go and listen to parts of the show you may have missed...like our recent interview with comedian Bob Marley or video of us doing stupid stuff!

Now they throw us a blog! This is going to be a great way for us to stay in touch with you. So check back daily for updates as we ramble about mindless nonsense, and things that we think are blog worthy!

Bill Fox
Frank's Place
Mornings 5-9

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